Thursday, 3 June 2010

Late bloomer

It is my 20 year school reunion this year and the event has been planned through Facebook. People are coming out of the woodwork. I've been a Facebooker for a few years now. I have some friends who are early adopter types (you know they did the whole MySpace thing before FB and then signed up to FB and made us all get into it). Anyway, I've written a few posts about my, um, history with FB (like here for instance) and this is not another post about that.

The thing is, there are people from school befriending me on Facebook (perhaps "re"friending is a better term?). Initially, I thought, "ooh, I wonder what she's been up to?" and I added them as friends. Then the requests kept coming. At times I ignored the requests, thinking to myself, "it has been 20 years since I have had that person in my life, do I really need to start again now?". At times I couldn't help myself. One time I found myself in a situation resembling a Jerry Springer episode where one old school's partner's brother (you see what I mean?) was allegedly murdered by his spouse of 20 years (in front of his children) because of alleged domestic violence (YOU.SEE.WHAT.I.MEAN?). Facebook. She aint what she used to be.

Anyway, something that has become apparent to me is that I am a bit of a late bloomer. I come from a small(ish) country town and it seems I left my parenting run pretty late. Quite a few of my newly (re)-formed friendships are with people who have teenage children! Pretty much all of them have kids far older than mine. It is a strange phenomenon. You see, I was one of the first to have kids in my friendship circle in the Big Smoke. At 31 (nearly 32) I knew that I wasn't the youngest new Mum on the block, but I met plenty of others who were older than me. In my Mother's Group I fell snuggly in the middle.

It occurred to me that if I'd stayed in my home town, I could very well have had a different life. Teenage children type of different. I might even be a grandmother by now (if things went really badly for me) as my sister's 38 year old friend is. Now that IS a scary thought. Or is it?

I met a lady through my work once who had had a MASSIVE stroke at 38 (she died). The thing was, she had a 3 year old grandson, had lived a very busy life, and in lots of ways was lucky to have been one of those people who had their kids young. She had already seen her children grow and marry and be happy and have their own kids. At 38, she had ticked off more of her parenting goals than many of us will by 50.

It is funny that it has taken the likes of Facebook to point out to me that there are lots of different ways to spend 20 years. Studying, travelling, partying, exploring, living and then having a family, as I did, or, all of those things but in a different order, as is the case for some of my classmates. It is good that we get to write our own life story. I like the way mine is turning out, but I am not looking forward to the amused giggles of the more experienced Mums at the reunion. They will be in the land of distant memory when I tell them about my sleep deprived life and my dependent children. They will have other things to complain about, no doubt. All of that ahead of me :)

1 comment:

allison t said...

Great post. Will look forward to hearing about how it all goes. x

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