Sunday, 1 August 2010

Going solo - I survived to tell the tale

The Geege went to the snow for a few days with his mate (a colleague). Geege owns Camp Hike Climb, a lightweight camping store, and claimed that they needed to do some 'product testing'. You know, 'get out in the field'.

I fully understand that when you work in a retail store that sells hiking gear and stuff, that you need to be up-to-date with the latest and greatest. You need to know that what you are saying to be true is actually fact. You can't rely solely on your impressive resume of hiking, biking and canyoning trips. Not when you clocked up most of your experience in the 1990s. It just aint right.

So I understand that he needed to go away and use some of the gear that he sells and get back into our, seemingly discarded, adventurous lifestyle. *Sigh* Life before kids really was a lot of fun!

I was a teeny bit jealous (well, a lot jealous) of his plans. But it wasn't the 'being left behind' thing that was the hardest. It just sucks a little that his snow-shoe trip meant I had to fly solo with the kids for four days! Four whole days. Just me, and them.

As far as it goes, the experience was less painful that I thought it would be. There were no major dramas to speak of, just the relentlessness of parenting (24 hours a day) and no-one to off-load some of the responsibility to.

The fact that I had booked in lots of visitors and activities for the kids meant that we were always busy and the days weren't too long. There were the usual mishaps - twins waking at night at the same time, one twin pooing on the floor of the bathroom while I was undressing the other, Dew Drop put his tooth through his bottom lip (with the horror scene of blood that comes with lip splits), a fall from the slippery dip, spilt milk, bikes being driven over siblings toes, wet beds, kids in my bed, and a mountain of washing after playing in the backyard after fresh rain. All in a day's work. Or a few days as the case was.

I counted them as I put them into bed tonight. One, two, three, four. Check. All alive. All fed. All happy to kiss me goodnight (I can't have been too much of a monster then can I?).

I've done my job. And survived to tell the tale.

My hat goes off to all the single parents out there tonight. You guys are my heroes!

What is the longest time you have been left to parent alone? Got any tips for us young players?

4 comments:

Shauna said...

Ive been parenting alone for yonks and my best advice is to choose your battles wisely and not to beat yourself up when it all goes to shit. Because at some point it will. Its just the depth that varies.

This applies to occasional single parenting (when one parent is away or at work) and full time single parenting like i have done for years.

monique said...

I am completely and utterly jealous of divorced parents that do one week on and one week off with the kids but seriously, I wouldn't get a divorce just for that! It just seems an ideal way to go. I don't mind hubby going away on buisness now and then, somehow the mornings and evenings seem more relaxed. But I don't like the weekends alone, he usually takes them off my hands for a while and that I really miss!

Spayskdet said...

Hubby also just had a boys weekend. It was only 48hrs apart but I dreaded it. Who would pick up the broken pieces of the day when I fell apart at 5pm? In the end, the munchkins and I had a great time. Saturday we baked, played, & even had a nap before my friend & her 2 kids (same ages as mine) brought over pizza and a bottle of wine. Sunday we ate the baking (yummy), played, had lunch at one of our fave cafes and finished up with an afternoon of craft. Hubby came home to two sleeping kids, a clean house & a happy wife. I think he thought he'd walked into the wrong house! Where was the whinging, moaning, endless begrudging of his time away?

I had to ask myself why I can't achieve this level of bliss when he is around? After all I am an educated healthy stay at home Mum with a fantastically supportive husband. I'm living the dream aren't I? There should be no stress in my life at all right? So why the daily 5pm meltdown?

My answer to myself... I like my husband to think I NEED him for more than just his fantastic company. How stupid is that! Hell, I married him for his personality not his baby sitting skills. Call me crazy but a weekend of solo parenting has made me realise more than ever, I don't really need time away from my young family. What I need to do is focus my energies and thoughts on "now time" whether it is good or bad. Stop dreaming about the illusive "me time". I had plenty of "me time" before marriage and kids and always felt something was missing. Yep that would have been a hubby and kids that was missing - funny how easy it is so easy to forget that!

And finally, I am going to make sure that my hubby knows that I WANT him. No more needy, victim wife. He's hot. He's interesting. Think I might go shag him right now ;-)

Thanks Christine for planting the seed for this reflection. Next time I'll write my own blog rather than hijacking yours.

MultipleMum said...

Wow! You guys are far better at solo parenting than I am. I shall try to heed your advice when I am in that boat again. It certainly wasn't all bad though! Spayskdet - I hope you had a good shag and please, if you do start a blog, let me know the url 'cause I would be your biggest fan! x

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