Monday, 21 February 2011

The Mummy hog

Dew Drop (two year old boy twin for those of you losing track of the kids) has an amazing ability to spend one on one time with me and/or the Geege.

I never really noticed before, but since one of my goals on my 52in52 list is to spend one hour with each child each week*, I have witnessed that he is a hog.

I don't know how he does it. I suspect the other kids could learn a trick or two, but Dew Drop always manages to swindle his way onto my lap, with a book in tow and have himself some quiet Mummy time. Or he quietly sits next to me and holds my hand. Or he asks me to watch him while he is riding his bike and the others are playing Lego or something. Or he keeps me company while I hang clothes on the line.

He has also got himself some chores to do. He 'helps' with the washing and pushes the button on the dishwasher. He puts clothes in the washing baskets. All because he is always there.

But it is not just me he hijacks. I have observed that once the Geege gets home of an evening, Dew Drop always manages to swindle his way onto his lap for a quick wrestle and a giggle.

He is good at it. I will grant him that.

Now that I have cottoned on, it makes me feel a bit bad. I so enjoy his company but I now know that he is accruing more individual parental time than the others.

Maybe he needs more and that is why he gets it?

Maybe he just likes it?

Is it unfair if he just takes it and the others don't really notice or seem to care?

Bloody Mummy hog has unleashed more Mummy guilt.


* Incidentally, I am going to revise this goal to 15 mins per day and at least one hour per week because I realised it isn't always attainable. An hour each? That is four hours. What are the others going to do while I spend my quality time? So 15 mins seems more reasonable, don't you think?

14 comments:

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

Fifteen minutes sound much more manageable. I say let the hog go for it while the others aren't noticing - sooner or later they'll catch on and he'll be dragged back to the herd. God love him!

Kelly said...

aww, what a sweetie!

1000 Homes of Happiness said...

ahhh, love this post....we have a mumma hog in our house as well.

Oh my, he is such a little sweetie though...let him take it while he can...I'm sure it wont take long for the others to notice xoxo

p.s - beautiful pic

xo

Lucy said...

15 mins is the go, I reckon.

I notice the hogs in our house too. It tends to ebb and flow on who is the hoggiest.

They begin to carve out niche times for themselves.

Olivia walks with me some mornings.

Charlie always asks to be last for stories at bedtime (so he knows I can stay and cuddle him without interruption from one of the girls.)

And Lexie (who is the true hoggiest) is the affection junkie who is my shadow...

They take what they need.....

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

Probably comes down to his personality. Maybe he's just a people person and into quality time. If the others don't seem to mind, might as well run with it. They'll still get their 15 minutes of fame, so they're not missing out. Mummy guilt is just not worth it.

I have a hogger at the moment - although no where near as pleasant as yours. More of the clingy, crying always wanting to be up in arms type. Doesn't like me to walk outside unless she's with me, that kind of thing. I'm hoping it's just an annoying stage and that this too will pass.

Alice Becomes said...

different personalities need different things, I guess? You never know, in a few months, the Mummy Hog might move on and one of the other kids will take up the position!

15 minutes sounds manageable...I am trying to give each of my boys 20 minutes of time each day...it is not always as easy to get that time as it sounds but I had realized most of the time I was "spending" with them was actually while I was still doing other things, washing dishes, preparing dinner etc

Gill xo

x0xJ said...

Don't feel guilty, if the others were happy to help you out around the house they'd get more time too, but they are happy to play and do their own thing. This is just what Dew Drop wants, and understands that if he wants some more of your time, he has to do what you want to do too. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Maxabella said...

He obviously just needs more attention naturally (Max is the same for us). The other kids will take care of it in time. They must all be getting the time they need otherwise there would be fights!! x

DancingInTheRain said...

Take it while you can! Soon enough he will be off in the big wide world.

Naturally Carol said...

If one of your kids is noticeably missing out on Mum time..you could surreptitiously let them know how it's done...and make the world a fairer place..lol!

Jodie at Mummy Mayhem said...

15 mins would be fine. Kids don't really need much one-on-one time in just one sitting - they're quite happy if they have your undivided attention even for a short time.

The 4yo gets a lot of my time because he's home with me. With the other boys, it's sometimes just reading with them at night (even the 8yo still loves us to read 'to' him) and then a chat after. Hubby and I will often just take one out with us to run errands. Just a good chat in the car is nice when the other two aren't interrupting!

I reckon if your little guy is looking for the attention, and the others don't seem to mind...just let it be. Before too long, he'll be interested elsewhere, so enjoy!

therhythmmethod said...

I wouldn't worry, kids are noisy when they're not happy. If the others aren't complaining or trying to squeeze their way in, they must be OK with it. And he must just need/want it more than they do. Try not to feel guilty (though probably easier said than done). :)

reanbean said...

My Tiny is like that- often by my side, so willing to help out with chores, setting in my lap with a book she wants me to read. Buba isn't always one to demand the attention, so I try to scoop him up a various times throughout the day just to give him an extra bit of TLC.

In a few weeks, I'll be trying out giving my kids some one-to-one time while the other is off at a friend's house (in return, I'll take on of her kids every so often so she can have the same experience). I'm curious to see how that will go. I'm sure Tiny will love having me to herself for an hour or so. I wonder if Buba might get bored with me. :o)

Kymmie said...

I love this goal and understand with four kids why you would want to spend just time with one child each? I only have two littlies and am just starting to enjoy one-on-one time with my youngest while the eldest is at kinder. Have you read "The Five Love Languages"? It's the best thing I've ever read? But if you don't have time to read, go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ (you can even do a test to find out what your love language is, and the kids too). He might just be a 'quality time' or 'physical touch' boy, while the others appreciate you doing something for them, or just giving them a cuddle or giving them a gift. Which certainly is a quicker way to keep your children happy, but you might want to check it out. It changed the way I did relationships!!! (And it might save your one hour a week time juggle). Have a wonderful Sunday! xx

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