Thursday, 26 May 2011

Talking contraception


Image from here
I remember after I had my second son (my first was 20 months old) that I had a conversation with the attending obstetrician. This poor man had had to endure the lovely dottie disposable undies that my mother had purchased for me to save soiling my own quality undergarments so we had become fairly close.

The conversation went something like this.

Him: "So, have you thought about what contraception you are going to use? I mean, it's important that you start using some."

Me: "Um. Abstinence?" (laughs coyly).

Him: "I really don't think that is a long-term solution. You two are like rabbits aren't you? What have you used before, um, I mean before recent times".

Me: "The Pill. I didn't like it though, went off it and, well, discovered it was pretty effective afterall." (laughs)

Him: "Ah yes. Well, that isn't an option for breastfeeding mothers. Have you thought about a Mirena?"

Me: "No."

Him: "Well it's an IUD."

Me: (eyebrow raises sceptically)

Him: "It's not like the IUDs of the 1970s. It is an effective, low dose hormone inserted into the cervix..."

Me: (another eyebrow raise. Keep your hands off my cervix, mate).

Him:  (continuing)"You should think about it. You wouldn't want to have any more kids in a hurry now would you? I mean, um, you need to rest your body for awhile...blah, blah (tries to dig himself out of a hole)...It is certainly a better long-term option than abstinence or the dreaded condoms."

Clearly, with the birth of the twins two years later, I failed to take his advice about this modern IUD. But after two became four and numerous less than subtle hints to the Geege to go and 'take one for the team', I had to take contraception methods into my own hands (again).

I am into the third month of life with my new friend and apart from being a psycho b!tch approximately two weeks every month, there are no complaints!

Seriously, for me the low-dose hormone is inducing raging PMT most of the time.

It is working though. I am not pregnant (*does happy dance*) AND the Geege has mentioned having the 'snip' about three times in the last month.

Psycho wife or short day procedure rendering you infertile?

It seems an easy choice to me ;)


How are you managing contraception post-children? Have you used the Mirena and did it turn you psycho too?

PS: I am going to be away for the weekend. I hope you have a great weekend. I will be back Monday x


22 comments:

Amy said...

Oh, I'll be keeping my eye on this discussion. I'm about to burst out with our second child (wait, that makes me sound like a break dancer of some description) and we don't think that we'll want anymore, but we are also not ready for the finality of DH getting snipped. I suck at taking the pill so thinking about alternate options!

Julia said...

I have the Mirena. I have no sex drive. Absolutely zero. I'm pretty sure that's what it's designed to do. Render me desireless. Or maybe that's the twins.....

Sarah G said...

I had Mirena put in as soon as possible after my twins were born. And then had it yanked 5 months later. It made be a raging psycho b!tch and I put on 25 lbs. I thought about the copper IUD as an alternative for a while but ended up getting my tubes tied instead. No complications from that what-so-ever.

alliecat said...

Watching with interest too, as I'm about to have another babe but want this one to be our last. We're not ready for the permanency of the snip, or indeed the tubal ligation my doc offered during my c/s.

I've had implanon before - also a low dose hormone emitting device and I also had ZERO libido, put on copious weight and bled consistently. If the mirena is anything like that for me, then no way. But really, what are the other options for a b/f mother, the mini pill is even more dangerous than going without as unreliable at taking it as I have been.

Good luck, hopefully this works for you.

Frog, Goose and Bear said...

I've had the implanon in since no. 3 and as it's nearing the 3 year mark (that's when you need to replace) I am urging the husband to hurry up and get the snip. I shall be using you as an example of why this is the best option!! He has actually agreed, he's just got to take the next step and actually do it!! All the best;)

Photographer Mum said...

I have Mirena and haven't had any problems with it. But I have noticed that I have gained weight - it only just clicked after I read a few other comments. Hmmm something to look into. But Hubby is talking of getting the snip. At some stage. We still haven't decided what we are going to do yet. But Mirena has been great for me since #3 was born. I was lousy at taking the pill - I'd always forget (and not deliberately either)

Miss Pink said...

We nee to sit and chat.
A mirena user here too. Pill made me psycho, cannot have depo as didn't work for my mother, not getting anything with needles anyway so no implanon. Condoms, lets face it, when you're in a committed relationship (or, err not) you can feel them. Even the "invisible" ones. And if i wanted to have sex with rubber i'd use a dildo.
So mirena was my only choice. I waited for my period to return post baby, 6 months later it still hadn't (thank you breastfeeding!) and Mr Black was getting pushy by then for me to get it, so i just went in and got it. I bled for 6 months straight, and regular-heavy, non of this light spotting crap they promised. It was awful. I was gearing up to get it pulled out come the 7th month when it stopped and i thought ok, now i will give this a go.
Periods every 6 weeks from then onwards, light-regular and usually only 3 days. I cramp like a bitch. Holy hell! I never got much period pain but this wakes me from my sleep! And i PMS like crazy also. Something i NEVER had before either. But right now, a year and a half after insertion, i haven't had my period since February. Liking that. It's really my only option, i refuse to go on the pill again, and i had given a few different types a whirl, so it sorta leaves me in the lurch. They won't give Mr Black the snip, not when he's only 26. And i want more kids anyway so i'm not keen on pushing permanent measures.

therhythmmethod said...

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I've had similar dramas. No.3 boy is evidence of my success with taking a daily contraceptive. I tried implanon between Boys 1 and 2 and bled for months, the 'normal' pill makes me want to put my head in the oven, and condoms are a temporary solution at best. At the moment I try very, very hard to take a daily pill which is quite expensive although does work and seems to be the least offensive. Having said that they last 3 months or so my PMS has given me some very dark days and I am beginning to think I need to reassess. Or perhaps I am just a psycho bitch and need to learn to deal with it? Either way, I need to sort something out because I am super clucky and have at least a decade before I hit menopause. The snip for Mr Karen is not an option as I would like to go for 4 kids one day.
I think the Geege should go the snip. How many years were you pregnant or breastfeeding?

Leah - Bogue Living said...

I tried the nuvaring and I might as well have been pregnant for the morning sickness I experienced. If I am gonna live in Dodge town I'd prefer I knew I was leaing in 9 months with a new bebe! Unfortunately, the pill makes me feel a bit like that too and then I forget to take it. We do rely on condoms. Partner used to be paranoid but it getting more lax. I should fake a late period to up the paranoia. I would love him to get "fixed" lol I have totally done my share in all things reproduction and not.

Diminishing Lucy said...

Lexie was born only year after Charlie was born, so you can gather quite accurately that she was a happy accident. I was fully breastfeeding Charlie AND was taking the mini pill when I conceived Lexie.

My OB didn't make it to Lexie's birth, but made it in time to deliver the placenta - and the VERY first thing I asked him when he came into the birthing suite was "Can you please give my lovely husband a referral for a vasectomy?"

The lovely husband obliged. He tells me that the wait for the procedure was longer than the procedure itself. He had it done on a Friday and played cricket on the Saturday. Easy as, apparently.

He also tells me that it sent his already high libido through the roof. And mine matched too - relief, I daresay, at the threat of another pregnancy being removed!

Donna said...

Have to say its a very interesting conversation here! While I am still only at one child, I've no plans to make the second addition yet BUT having high blood pressure I'm told I am a candidate for a stroke if I take any Pill/IUD/Implanon etc. Now freaking out that baby no.2 might come before I am ready!!!

Mama of 2 boys said...

No contraception here! We're nuts. Crazy. Running the gauntlet. There are many ways to describe it. But *so far* we've avoided any 'accidents'. Watch this space ;o)

Lizeylou said...

The thought of an IUD makes me squirm and close my legs ... so I havent tried it, but a couple of my friends have and as much as I love them they did get VERY hormonal and angry quite often. Often enough to get rid of it and become themselves again.
I personally dont like taking the pill and often stongly hint to my Hubbie that he needs to have the snip but until that day we are back to good old condoms.

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

I love my Mirena...love it!

I barely get a period (think spotting every few months).

My moods are stabilized.

My boobs don't hurt every month.

I don't have to put anything on my husband or inside of me.

I love it.

Maxabella said...

Snip snip, quick quick. That is all I have to say. x

Salamander said...

Even though I had a tubal ligation during my third caesar, I was given the choice of the Mirena or a uterine ablation by my gynaecologist when my periods lasted for over two weeks. Yep, that's right! Over two weeks, every two weeks. Yesterday I had the ablation surgery. I must say it was more painful than I expected - a bit like advanced labour, to be honest. But I think I'm glad I did it instead of the Mirena, after reading the comments above!!!! xxxxxx

Mum on the Run said...

I love your silver lining attitude.
I guess the mirena will be successful for you - in a roundabout way.
When it's time - I could pretend to have the Mirena, rant and rave like a complete bitch and encourage Hubby to go forth and non multiply with a snip.
hope yours gets there before the 5 years is up!
:-)

Sam-O said...

Having not used contraception for the my entire relationship with my Workaholic Hubby and having IVF to produce my boys, it's not something I've thought about much, but I must say that after this last attempt at IVF for bub number 3, I am going to encourage the snip.

I know what a psycho bitch I am on any dose of hormones (7 cycles on IVF anyone?).

Good Luck.

Sneh | Cook Republic said...

Psycho B1tch? Really? Every time I see you Chris, you are an absolute sweetheart. Bustling with energy and funny as hell. :-)

I was asked to get the Mirena after my first. The reason I didn't get it was I usually never get around to doing certain things .. like getting a license or making a passport. 4 years later we had our second and so far we seem to be doing alright. I having young children and a lack of support system is quite a good form of contraception in itself. My OB here in Sydney thought that I wouldn't do so good on Mirena because I've had hormone issues all my life.

1000 Homes of Happiness said...

eeek! This makes for such wonderful reading. loving all the comments. Running the gauntlet here as well. Year of IVF and then our little Bloss gave us a wonderful surprise after her twinnie sisters were born. We figure we spent years trying to get pregnant seems kind of silly preventing it now... =)

Kymmie said...

After four children, and DEFINITELY not wanting anymore, you'd think my husband would be rushing to get the snip, snip. But no. He's asking ME to do something about it.

And well... I'm tired of using condoms with my husband. What's with that?

Just yesterday I had a discussion with a friend about Mirena. She said it killed being inserted (no pain killers). But now she's happy.

I'm considering it, but after what you've said, I'm now concerned again.

Plus, I want more permanent measures!!

Great topic! xx

Toni said...

I'm coming in late here, after your comment on my blog post today.
As you would have seen, I'm having the Mirena inserted in about a week and a half, and it's my last resort before a hysterectomy.
I'm hopeful that this will cure my massive bleeding problems but a bit scared about the mood swings, I think hubby will be very nervous when he hears too :)

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