Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Write on Words: Two Fat Ladies

Image from here
The delightful Gill from InkPaperPen (and Alice Becomes) has started an online writing group. I have been watching from the sidelines for the past few weeks and this week decided I really ought to join in.


Write On Wednesdays Exercise 4: Two Fat Ladies (88!):  Grab the 8th book from your bookshelf. Open it to page 8. Scroll down to the 8th sentence. Write this sentence at the top of your page. Set your timer for 5 minutes and write the first words that come into your head after your writing prompt.  Stop when the buzzer rings! 

A tall, well-built Kampuchean picked them up from their house at four in the morning*.

She didn't know where he was taking them and, frankly, she was a little surprised by his size. Her pre-conceived ideas about Kampuchean's had been shattered by his presence.

No bags. No idea. She went off into the chill of the morning, the darkness hiding her way. She desperately wished she had some sense of her destination, but all she had was hope.

Hope that he was taking them to a different world. A better world. Somewhere far from the noise of their current life. Somewhere far from the fear that enveloped her from the moment she woke each day.

She wasn't sure whether she should talk to the man. What would she say? What would she even call him?

She quickly decided her best bet was to remain silent. Silence was hard for her inquisitive mind but silence meant she still had hope. Silence kept her dreams alive.

So she hung her head and shuffled behind him, sneaking a glance at her companion as they passed under the street lamps. Into the darkness. Towards her dreams.


Click over to see how other's tackled this five minute stream of consciousness task.

* From Leviathon: The unauthorised biography of Sydney by John Birmingham



Write On Wednesdays

21 comments:

Diminishing Lucy said...

Liek you, I have been watching (and reading) these entries on Wednesdays...

Yours is brilliant.

xx

therhythmmethod said...

Very good! I like it a lot. Very economical and you did a fantastic job of setting up the tension of the unknown, and the possibility of a brighter future. I want to read more. All that in 5 mins! :)

Sarah Mac said...

I really liked this, I wanted to read more too!

1000 Homes of Happiness said...

ahh, love this idea and love your writing. Agree, we need more than 5 mins!

I wanted to say thank you as well. Your post on managing comments had me add the blog roll thingy on my page and ahhh, life is already so much easier. Nice to see when my favourite bloggers post now.

Happy day.
xox

Quill and Ink Handmade said...

It's quite tricky setting up a story within a time limit, and leading readers to a place where they want to know more. I think you did both of these things wonderfully well! Great tension, and great exposition of character through her thought process. If this was the first page of a novel, I'd be reading more!

Thanks for passing on Gill's InkPaperPen writing space - I've just beeen over for a visit and I'm going to give it a go today too. I miss writing more often, and am a sucker for writing prompts :)

x

Mum on the Run said...

Congratulations on jumping in - and on writing a fantastic piece.
:-)

InkPaperPen said...

So pleased to see you joining in today. All this in 5 minutes! I loved reading it and agree with everyone above - I was left wanting more. Would love to know if these thoughts came from anywhere in real life or was it simply your imagination?

Hope you enjoyed the prompt. I am just about to tackle my own...

x

Megan Blandford said...

I'm so glad you joined in - I love the mood you've created with that piece. Love it.

DancingInTheRain said...

you are one talented lady my friend!

Melissa *Suger Coat It* said...

Wow. I could follow that five minute stream of consciousness for ever.

Write on indeed! ;)

cityhippyfarmgirl said...

Fun! That would be SUPER fun to do that!

Suzi said...

Great to see you joining in! What an excellent piece of writing :)

Kim H said...

Oh how great is this? So great!!! Love this. This could be the beginning, middle, end???/ of a book. Love the way you write:)

Naomi said...

Love it - I held my breath and wanted to read more. Really well written.

Lene said...

This is incredible. So beautifully written, you left me wanting more and more! First time visiting your blog....such a lovely space.

Car said...

Great work for a five minute piece! I attempted it twice and wasn't too happy with either of mine this week. But yours - it is great, love how you have set it up and would love to read more!

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

Great work! Good on you for getting involved!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Very cool! I love creative challenges (although I don't usually take the time to do them myself). :)

Susan @ Reading Upside Down said...

Wonderful. I wanted to know more - where the story was going and where the character had already been. Can't wait to read more of your Writing on Wednesdays pieces.

E. said...

Great writing. Liek everyone else I would love to know more about your character and the siutation.

life without mathematics said...

Love love love it! Was this truly 5 minutes' worth of first writing? Big envy going on here! What a fun challenge! I hope to get with it all and join in on Wednesday. I'm so pleased I've tripped across it while it's still a bit new. See you round!

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