|Image from here|
The consideration for how many children to have and how close together to have them is one that we all agonise over. What is the best gap? How many children will satisfy the parental urges?
The funny thing is, that both of these questions are often beyond our control.
While some people get pregnant the minute they even consider having a baby, others try and try and try.
While some people have no trouble having their first child, they experience secondary infertility and the gap between children grows and grows, and sometimes never eventuates.
While some people carry babies to term, others miscarry or have premature babies, both impacting on the gap between children and/or the number of children they eventually parent.
While some people plan for one child, they wind up with twins, or triplets (which happened to a friend of mine) and their lives take on a whole different track.
For some, family planning turns out exactly as they wanted (creating the 'perfect scenario'of reduced sibling rivalry). For others, their family make-up is not what they expected.
In my way of thinking, in the end, 'you get what you get and you don't get upset' as we say in our household. There is little to be gained from lamenting a life that hasn't eventuated. So you ended up with four children under four? So be it.
I know that I am lucky. I don't know what it is like to not be able to get pregnant. I know that many people would like to find themselves in the scenario that I am in; with too much love and many children to cuddle.
But I do know that nothing comes from being unhappy with your life, from not accepting your situation. Nothing is to be gained from living a life you don't have. Do everything you can, by all means, to make the life you dream of but don't let it define you.
What are your thoughts on family planning? Can you really plan a family or are there just too many variables?