Monday, 28 November 2011

Making new friends

Image from here
When Nugget first started school last year, he made a friend. It all began over a mutual love of Lego and all things Thomas the Tank, and apart from a small incident over a museli bar, they have been BFFs ever since. His friend was dominant and in charge, but Nugget was his right-hand man. They both seemed happy with the arrangement and travelled together, among a larger group of boys.

That is until a couple of weeks ago when Nugget announced they had 'broken up'. The reason for said break up was that the BFF didn't make Nugget 'feel good inside my body'.

I was worried about it at first, but Nugget hasn't been.

Since parting ways, Nugget has a new gang. They seem like nice boys, more mischievious than his previous group, but we have already established Nugget's attraction to trouble makers.

There have been reports of detentions and getting into trouble in the classroom. His teacher and I had a few words about his 'behaviour'. I think he is just growing up and testing boundaries. He certainly is at home.

The saddest thing for me about all of this is that I really like the BFF's Mum. She and I have a regular Friday afternoon date at the local shops for an ice-block. We natter about life, kids, jobs and getting some balance. She is wise and funny and laid back and real.

Last Friday as we continued our tradition and Nugget and the BFF sized each other up and then found some fun together, we joked about whether or not we can still be friends if our kids aren't. Who calls the shots in these friendships anyway? We giggled about secret child-free rendez-vous and established we will have to ajourn to the pub for our chats, instead of the school yard. It will only enhance our friendship!

So now that Nugget is moving on, I guess I will be making new school friends too.

What has your experience been with making friends with your children's friends' parents? Good? Bad? Ugly?

12 comments:

therhythmmethod said...

This sounds lovely. I think it's so hard to find people you really, genuinely click with, you need to hold on to them, even if the boys aren't BFFs anymore.
We've had dramas with friends this year. Boy 1 has had a BFF since they were newborns, but now the kinder teacher has recommended they don't go into the same class next year. It's really awkward because our families have all clicked, even their no.2 son is BFFs with my no.2. Eep. It does my head in! And they're only 5!

therhythmmethod said...

This sounds lovely. I think it's so hard to find people you really, genuinely click with, you need to hold on to them, even if the boys aren't BFFs anymore.
We've had dramas with friends this year. Boy 1 has had a BFF since they were newborns, but now the kinder teacher has recommended they don't go into the same class next year. It's really awkward because our families have all clicked, even their no.2 son is BFFs with my no.2. Eep. It does my head in! And they're only 5!

therhythmmethod said...

Sorry, this is what happens when you get impatient while commenting. ;)

Maxabella said...

I'd keep the Friday iceblock tradition going without a doubt. It will be just as good for the "ex-friends' as their mummas! x

InkPaperPen said...

Oh, for sure. You can and should still be friends with the Mum. I second Karen's comment, it can be hard to find people you really click with. Your friendship will take a new life now, I think.

Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue said...

Have been blessed with some awesome parents to befriend. School is amazing for making friends even when you're not a kid any more.

Mama of 2 boys said...

Haha, I love how fickle children can be. But I guess their feelings are so honest and raw, gotta love that too! At this point I haven't made friends with any parents of Angus' preschool friends... right now I'm still in the 'making Angus be friends with my friend's children' phase ;o) xo

Kim H said...

Lew's hd some of the same friends since he was a baby. The kids mums are aalso my friends. A couple of them are girls and so i was worried that, over time, the friendship between boy and girl would waiver. It has with one of them and so has the friendship between myself and the mum. We have to really make an effort to catch up now as our kids are living such different lives. The 2 others though, we see quite regularly, which is really nice. all of Lewis other friends are also friends of mine. I think it goes with the whole homeschooling thing. I nkow of others with kids at school who struggle, at times, with the friendships their kids have because they are not that into the parents of the kids. It's a tricky one.
Your boys will probably be happy to stay in each others lives while you mums are friends. Nurturing the time they spend together outside of school time may just be the thing to help them through some of their differences etc. It's cool to have friends who you hang out with after schoo lbut not in school. I remember really loving thoes friendships as I was growing up.

Diminishing Lucy said...

I say roll with it. These friendships they make at this age seem fluid. Todays break up is tomorrows re-engagement.

Olivia has had a different BFF each year/class since day one, who she breaks up with all the time and they come back together just as quickly. They all operate within the class group well.

Charlie is in a gang adn within that gang his BFF changes daily. He is also friends with a litle girl - she is more constant than the boys, to be honest.

Lexie is friends with everyone. EVERYONE.

I can't keep up with it all, so I stick with the tried and true Mummy friends I have made through school regardless of that the kids are doing.

My bestie at school is the Mum of a lad Olivia was in class with in Reception for just one term...we have stood the test of the past few years. And her boys and my three kids play brilliantly off the school turf even though they are not BFF's actually in class or at school. The trust is there...

I am babbling.

Go with your gut, as always.

xx

Miss Pink said...

I think in this case it's ok. You can of course still be friends with the parent, and the kids probably will still remain friends, perhaps just not as close.
I think it will also change from year to year too, depending on who is in their class.

The hardest part for me is when your kid becomes close friends with a child that you don't particularly like, and you don't like their parents.
I can't do the fake niceties. A smile sure, but not poolite chit chat every day. It really grates on me.

danneromero said...

As your kids grow you may see the shifting of friendships throughout their years..... You'll meet many different parents, and even make lasting friendships with them regardless if the kids hang together or not. .... Enjoy the ride.

Penny said...

My son is besties with a kid at daycare whose mum is the loudest person in the world and calls me Rebecca all the time. Grinning and bearing it.

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