|Image from here|
The whole time I have been following the program I have been without hunger. I have felt in control of my intake. I have not been unhappy with the menu, or the structure, or the reduced choices, once I got used to it. I have felt empowered.
And then along came Saturday.
It started like any other day on the program. Protein shake porridge. A protein snack for morning tea. Some vegetables, chicken breast and basmati rice for lunch. And then, instead of being content after my afternoon snack, I became ravenous. I tried to ignore it but eventually succumbed to
I struggled. Big time. I couldn't stop thinking about food. I found myself standing in front of the pantry door (several times) and in front of the fridge too. Looking. Canvassing. Just like old times. And then, when I succumbed to the urge, I ate quickly, without savouring the flavours. And then I felt guilty.
Same old shit.
The Food Patrol has a term for this: "The Barrel person within". They talk about people, including yourself, who try to sabotage your efforts. Telling you "You've lost too much weight too quickly". "Just *try* it". "You're boring now you are on a diet". "Why *can't* you have a few snacks?".
My inner barrel had a field day with me on Saturday.
The bad news is that I gave in. The good news is that I got back on the wagon the next day and ignored any silly urges that reared up from time-to-time. My inner-barrel got bored by Monday and it has been smooth sailing again.
I learnt a lot this week. I learnt that, despite my excellent results, I still have a long way to go to gain 'control' of my thoughts and behaviours. I also learnt that if I slip up, I can get back into it. It is not 'all' or 'nothing'. The end result will not be determined by a blip on Day 34; rather a consistent effort for the duration of the 90 days.
I wasted a day, but I have 50 odd days to make amends.
In the end I lost 700g**. Not unhappy with that.
Have you met a 'barrel person' during your weight loss journey? How did you manage?
* The Food Patrol is a sponsor of And then there were four
** For those interested in the fine print, I now weigh 77.7kg. Total loss since Jan 16: 8.9kg