|Image from here|
When I went to the physio last week, I was informed that I have no gluts. 'No gluts?' I asked. 'You sure about that?'
My butt has been a prominent feature in my life.' What in the world am I carrying around here?' I quipped squeezing my admittedly squishy cheeks . She smiled as she dug her elbow into my hip and thigh.
My mate Jimmy was equally amused by my new predicament when I reported it to my friends. 'So what happens when you clench?' He asked. 'Hmmm... ' I responded, having a little try, 'Not much, sadly'.
'Can I have a feel?' He asked full of his usual enthusiasm. 'Um, no I don't think that will be necessary.' Shuffle feet. Change of subject. Awkward.
When I went back to the physio today, I asked more about my shortcoming.
'Not 'no gluts' exactly' she said, 'I am sure they are there somewhere.* You just need a butt more like Serena Williams. Now those are the gluts for you' she assured me.
Now I don't know about you, but I can't say I have ever coveted SW's platform. Her serve, yes, but not the butt. Never the butt.
In a few short years, my 'child bearing hips' turned out to be not so child friendly, and my big bum turns out to be muscle-free. I am officially carrying junk in my trunk.
Sigh. It is a lot to take in.
What is the least flattering thing you have heard someone say about your body?
* I know. I didn't find it reassuring either, but she wasn't trying to be mean