Friday, 9 November 2012

Parenting from the couch

It has been two weeks since I was actively parenting my kids. I feel like an observer. I sit back and watch the chaos of life, my only tool my voice. Two weeks in bed, on the couch, in the background.

It is a strange feeling. Being around, being needed, but not being able to contribute much. The kids can sit next to me, but not touch me. They can talk to me, but not ask me to do anything for them. I feel distant. And yet I am here.

The Geege is frazzled. He has had to be Mum and Dad for the past two weeks, and he is doing it willingly. I know he is secretly wishing that I could bend down and pack the dishwasher, or reach up and hang out the washing, or get my own f%@!ing cold water from the bottom of the fridge, but he knows I can't. So he does it.

I don't know who has the worse position in these situations; the sick person, or the carer? The sick person feels useless, a real burden. And the carer feels overwhelmed. Both understand each other's positions and both wish it were different. But it isn't different and it won't be for a few more weeks yet.

I feel lucky that this is a temporary situation for me. Imagine if you were always the parent on the couch?



Kelly Exeter said...

I actually reckon it is heaps worse for the sick person in this situation. I remember when my hubby had his ankle operated on and was like you - immobile on the couch. It drove him absolutely nuts that I had to do and get everything for him. Sure it was a pain for me ... but that's all it was ... a logistical pain.

Us humans are not designed to be completely dependent on others - it's a horrible feeling.

Ali said...

Ah I am right there with you. I can't do much at the moment while being on crutches. I can't get dinner from the kitchen bench to the table, I can't pick up the kids. It is a pain but temporary thank goodness. I hope you are up and about soon :)

River said...

I agree, the one stranded on the couch is in the worse position, seeing and hearing all that is going on, but not being able to help, do, or join in has got to be very hard. Thankfully, for you it isn't permanent. Hope you get up and around more soon.

Mama of 2 boys said...

Oh MM, I can think of few things more frustrating and downright stressful than not being able to do anything... for myself or my children. You poor love. Hang in there, sounds like yourself and the Geege have a very understanding and strong relationship, which helps at times like these.
And I had no idea the recovery would be quite so lengthy, but then I guess it's pretty delicate stuff you've had done. Take care xo

tricia said...

Oh you poor thing!

I'm only just catching up on blog reading now. Sorry you had to go through that.

Your ladyscaping post was hilarious ;-)

Wishing you a speedy recovery. x t.

Seana Smith said...

I know my husband would definitely think it was worse for him... and I'd agree. Multi-tasking is not his thing. Our family wouldn't do at all well in a period of protracted illness and when I see friends going through serious illness it scares the pants off me. None of us would do well in longtime difficult situations. But then I just make myself STOP thinking about it. We're well enough, and bloody glad of it.

Hope you get off that couch soon. Meanwhile, enjoying your posts.

cityhippyfarmgirl said...

Oh I hope your recovery is quick, that sounds like a long time to be the observing parent. Saying that, enjoy it just a little. Life will be back to normal soon enough.

Like Tricia said, also just catching up on posts, your lady scaping one- very funny :-)

Now, would you like a glass of water? Anything else I can get you?

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